Navigating adolescence can feel like a rollercoaster for both teens and their parents. As young people navigate their identities and interests, behaviors and emotions can begin to shift. One day they may be excited and engaged. The next day they might act despondent and angry, seeming far away from the child you know.

While some fluctuations in mood and behavior are typical during this developmental stage, certain signs may indicate something deeper is going on. Recognizing the signs of something serious like depression in your teen – and knowing how to respond – can help you understand when to seek more support and intervention.

Signs and Symptoms of Depression in Teens

Moodiness, eye rolls, big feelings, and occasional withdrawal are part of adolescence. Major depression is more intense, consistent, and longer-lasting than typical teen angst. It’s also more dangerous.

Research from the Centers for Disease Control show a sobering decline in teen mental health over the last decade. About 40% of students had persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness, and 20% seriously considered attempting suicide. Nearly 1 in 10 children attempted suicide.

If you’re wondering, “Is my teen depressed?” Ask yourself:

Do these changes last more than a couple of weeks?
Are symptoms consistent and persistent across time and ennvironments?
Are they happening across multiple areas of their life, like school and friendships, and not just at home?
Does your teen seem unable to enjoy even activities they used to care about?

If warning signs are severe, persistent, and widespread, your teen may be struggling with a form of depression such as major depressive disorder, dysthymia (persistent depressive disorder), or seasonal depression.

Signs of Teenage Depression

Signs of depression are observable shifts in your teen’s behavior that you or others can usually see. These include:

Emotional withdrawal
Refusal to leave their room
Avoiding social situations, even with close friends
Loss of interest in activities they once enjoyed
Anger, irritability, agitation, or defiance beyond typical moodiness
Shutting down and refusing to talk to you
Frequent crying or consistent sadness
Decline in school performance
Changes in appetite or noticeable weight changes
Sleeping much more or much less than usual
Self-harm behaviors such as cutting or disordered eating
Decline in grooming or personal hygiene
Risky behaviors, including alcohol or drug use as a form of self-medication
Expressing suicidal thoughts in texts or journals

Symptoms of Depression in Teens

Your teen may also be struggling internally in ways that aren’t necessarily visible from the outside. These symptoms can include:

Feelings of emptiness, hopelessness, or sadness
Suicidal thoughts or frequent thoughts about death
Sense of worthlessness or excessive guilt
Extremely low self-esteem
Harsh self-criticism
Fatigue and lack of energy
Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
Fixation on past mistakes
Irritability or aggression
Low motivation to complete tasks
Sleeping too much or difficulty sleeping
Physical symptoms like headaches, stomachaches, or unexplained aches

If your teen shares thoughts about self-harm or suicide, don’t wait to act. Immediate professional support is essential. The suicide and crisis lifeline is staffed by caring professionals 24/7. You or your teen can call or text 988 to reach them.

The Risks of Untreated Depression

The worst-case scenario of depression is, of course, death by suicide. Early intervention and depression therapy for teens is an extremely effective way to protect your child and family from crisis. In life-threatening or severe cases, your child needs comprehensive care, such as an outpatient clinic or the ER.

But even for children who aren’t at risk of self-harm, the risks of untreated depression can be severe and extend beyond the teenage years. Adolescent depression is associated with:

Co-occurring mental health challenges, such as an anxiety disorder, substance abuse, or eating disorders
Reduced resilience and difficulty coping with stress
Ongoing emotional dysregulation
Impaired mental health in adulthood
Difficulty maintaining meaningful relationships
Increased likelihood of family conflict

Depression causes overwhelm in your kid’s physical, emotional, and mental world. Without support, that overwhelm often compounds over time and becomes an ingrained pattern in your child’s nervous system.

4 Ways to Help Your Depressed Teenager

One of the hardest parts of parenting a struggling teen is knowing how to approach the conversation.

How do you get a teenager to talk about their feelings? How do you connect when it feels like they’re shutting down and shutting you out? It’s not easy, but if you approach the conversation with care, curiosity, and empathy, your teen may be more receptive than you think. Here are some places to start.

1. Practice Active Listening

Teens won’t open up if they feel judged, interrogated, or misunderstood.

Use “I language” instead of “you language.”

Try: “I’ve noticed you seem overwhelmed lately, and I’m concerned. Can you tell me a little bit about what’s been on your mind?”
Don’t say: “Why are you in such a bad mood? This always happens.”

Active listening means:

Being present without multitasking
Reflecting back what you hear
Responding with curiosity and empathy
Resisting the urge to immediately problem-solve

Conversations often flow better side-by-side instead of face-to-face. Try talking during a car ride, while walking the dog, or while doing something low-pressure together.

Your teen needs to feel safe before they feel vulnerable.

2. Stay Calm

When you’re scared for your child, your nervous system goes into high alert. That’s normal.

But if you become reactive and start raising your voice, escalating conflict, or threatening consequences, it will likely increase your teen’s defensiveness or shutdown.

You can be concerned while still projecting steadiness. You don’t have to be perfect, of course, but your own regulation helps regulate your teen. If you notice things are getting too heated, tell your teen you’d like to take a break for a while and come back to the conversation when you’re each feeling calmer.

3. Stay Supportive While Holding Boundaries

Supporting your teen doesn’t mean shielding them from all consequences or covering up harmful behavior. Avoid trying to rescue them from their own actions or trying to help them avoid accountability.

Instead, express to them the message, “I’m on your team. I care about you. And I’m not going to ignore what’s happening.”

4. Empower Them in Their Healing

If your teen is open, involve them in creating a plan.

Ask:

“What feels hardest right now?”
“What would make [school, life, relationships] feel more manageable?”
“Would you be open to talking to someone?”

Sometimes depression stems from overwhelm. Sometimes it requires professional intervention. Outpatient therapy, family counseling, or even higher levels of care may be necessary. There are a lot of options, and you don’t have to solve this alone.

Support for Teen Depression

If you’re reading this because you’re worried, trust that instinct.

My team at Carino Counseling specialize in mental health and depression therapy for teens as well as family therapy in Westchester, NY. Learning how to support your teen in this phase of their lives is crucial, and we’re here to help both you and your child in the journey. Together, you can learn how to heal family wounds, strengthen parent-child bonds, navigate tough conversations, shift behavioral challenges, and learn coping skills that strengthen the whole family.

Reach out to schedule a free 20-minute consultation and see how we can work together to create a brighter future for your child.

Signs Your Teenager Might Be Depressed